I'm sick, my nose is running all over my keyboard right now and I need some drugs to make me feel better. Open the drawer with the pills and the liquids, and every bottle has one of those stupid childproof caps. There is no universal way to open a childproof bottle, each one has its own poorly drawn diagram. What? I'm supposed to squeeze and then twist? Or am I to push down and then twist or just pull up. I was having such difficulty I ripped the cap off and only the childproofing remained. Is it that ridiculous to make these things easier open, or have a universal method of opening these. I can't read a diagram while I'm coughing up a lung, I just want to get the liquids in me. Instead of leaving it up to the drug companies to child proof my own medication can't we just make people store medication in their gun lockers? Lock and key (or combination). The five minutes I just used struggling to get my bottle open is five minutes of recovery time I could have used. I blame this all on bad parents of the past. Thanks for making your medications overly accessible to your children.

Ever since I saw him perform on SNL (when The Rock hosted, that superman skit was amazing), I knew this guy was something special. He gives 110% on stage and is all about the fans. When he came here in '02 unfortunately I was not old enough to get into a bar to go. But the love still remained. Last week, when I found out he was coming here to perform at The Collective, I knew I had to go. Andrew WK is one of the greatest performers and I would not miss this. Even when I found out that it was a "DJ" show and not his full band, I still wanted to go check it out. It turned out to be some guy playing the music on turntables (no band) and Andrew WK givin'er with the microphone and keyboard.

 

So I get to the show at 10 and drink a few beers. DJ Co-Op plays until 1130ish. DJ Co-Op plays dance music and everyone was raving and dancing and having a good time. Then Andrew comes on, and I hear "When it's time to party we will party hard". Everyone in the club starts going crazy, moshing all around, crashing into the stage. I was at the front the whole time doing some MAJOR fist pumping and head banging and jumping around. The best part about an Andrew WK show is that the crowd is so involved. I was at the front singing most of the words to most of the songs and Andrew would put the microphone up to people and they would get to sing. "I Get Wet" is one of my favourite songs, when I saw him perform it on SNL it changed my life. Nobody gives it harder on stage than Andrew WK. During that song, I knew I was going to be at the front singing every word to every song. When it started with the keyboard intro, I got all revved up and then started singing with Andrew. He saw me and then I went on stage with him for the first verse/chorus just me and him and sang I Get Wet and headbanged Andrew WK style, with the fist pumps, leg kicks and flailing arms so hard on stage. If anybody was at BB Camp coffeehouse 2003 when I did my best Andrew WK cover, they would know what I am talking about. I remained at the front most of the show, jumping around crashing into people, holding up crowdsurfers, and I returned to the stage a few times to headbang, and sing, during She Is Beautiful I got to go up again and just belt it out. BEST CONCERT EVER. Fuck, that was GT's!!!

 

ps. one guy even said to me that I did good up on stage. There were many times during that show where alot of people were on stage, but during that first verse+chorus of I Get Wet, it was me and him, alternating lines. It was unbelivable.

Last week, in what was the biggest tease since Britney Spears circa 1999-2003 Super Dog opened for business. The first day of Super Dog is always a monumental day in the calendar. It signifies the beginning of spring and the coming of exams (other than the obvious of being able to buy hot dogs outside of school). While in class I recieved multiple text messages notifying me that Super Dog was out. From Jon: 03/27/07 10:20am: SUPERDOG!. From Jordan 03/27/07 10:23 am SUPERDOG!!! (note the three exclamations on this one, rather than the one my brother chose to use, emphasizing exactly how big of a deal this is).  From Jonny 03/27/07 11:06 am Super Dog is Back. Jonny wasn't nearly as excited to have Super Dog back but did a good deed by letting me know that it was open for business. I also recieved a call later in the day from Andrew but by that time, I had already devoured my first dog of the year. . Immeadiately I began hyperventilating, I put down my pencil got out my wallet and counted out my spare change. $2.50 for a regular dog, $3.50 for a super dog. I only had $2.50 so I would be getting a regular dog. I rushed out and got my dog and could not wait. I have developed a consistent method of applying condiments to my Super Dog. Step 1, lots of regular mustard a few splotches of honey mustard (for flavour). Step 2 onions, lots of them, I want to see minimal dog under those onions. Step 3, pickle(s), depending on the type and mood. But mustard/onions always are a must. I put on the mustard before the onions because I used to do it the opposite way and this way the amount of mustard on my face is minimized. I bit into the dog and was in heaven. After all, I am the self proclaimed Super Dog champion, and a member of the Super Dog hall of fame (customers section). After I completed 3 frequent eater cards (10 dogs per card 5 = free drink 10 = sub captain...er free dog). During spring session 2003. Those were the days.

 

Here is the problem. Super Dog came out last week, officially beginning the season. While it is a tad cold out, it is still warm enough for a hot dog stand to be up and running. Now that they have come out once, they have officially begun Super Dog season, so every warm day has the potential to be a Super Dog day. So now, every day with decent weather, I am thinking, omg omg Super Dog Super Dog, I have to get it. I get myself all worked up for Super Dog, only to come outside and be disappointed. I was so upset, I walked all the way down past Portage Place hoping that some other hot dog stand (don't call me a traitor, desparate times call for desparate measures). Unfortunately, there was none. I was so upset that I went to A&W and instead of asking for a Whistle Dog combo no relish. I asked for a Super Dog combo no relish. I then quickly corrected myself. How depressing.

 

Now every warm day I think, this could be it, this could be it. And when it comes, I'll be in first in line getting a Smokie combo. I'll pick the chips.

This weekend, by shaving her head Britney Spears officially hit rock bottom. This was her way of coming out to the public and saying, I'm crazy, I need help. In 1999 she came out with Baby One More Time and was THE hottest thing around, she was an icon. Girls wanted to be her and would dress up as her and guys just oogled her breathtaking looks. She married Jason Alexander and even then people thought something was up, everyone was against the marriage to K-Fed, who ended up cashing in pretty hard, a la Rebecca Romijn after her marriage to John Stamos. But now the head shaving, she is officialy bonkers (if she wasn't before). She is like the people who go on Maury who say "look at me now" and come back all hot. Had anyone had a bigger decline from being the hottest thing ever to being absolute trash??? Could you imagine anyone dressing up in a MILF tshirt with your pregnant belly hanging out and saying "oh I'm Britney Spears" (a great halloween costume by the way).

 

This poses the question that was asked to me tonight by Darryl Antel. Would you have sex with Britney Spears, right now, would you do her. Would you have to think for more than a second? Darryl said that he would because then you could tell people that you screwed her, and you wouldn't have to say what era of Britney Spears. But she is so damn crazy now, people would forsure ask, Britney Spears now or Britney Spears 1999-2002. Nobody could compare to Britney Spears in her prime, think about her different looks, her beginning schoolgirl outfit in "Baby One More Time", when everyone accused her of getting breast implants in "Sometimes" (whether she got them or not at the young age of 18 will always be questionable), the "You Drive Me Crazy" video with Melissa Joan Hart, who has been nowhere to be seen since Sabrina. My all time favourite was that red skin tight outfit in the video for "Oops...I Did It Again", which I had the pleasure of seeing at the Experience Music Project in Seattle 2 years ago.

 

Currently Britney Spears has, shaved her head, been married twice, and after having a kid definately does not have the body she used to, parties hard with Paris Hilton, has been in and out of rehab, had her cooch exposed on the internet did I mention she shaved her head? What a breakdown. Is there any hope of her turning this around and coming back to "hot" status with a comeback single. At this rate, not likely at all.

 

If you were to see her in person, would you go up and talk to her and ask for her autograph and say what a big fan you are/were and hopes she can get better. Or do you point and snicker in fear of her 7 foot tall bodyguard and say "oh my god thats Britney Spears, how pathetic". But hey, she does have millions of dollars, I'm just some loser writing a blog.

 

But seriously, she has been at the sexiest thing in hollywood to a complete has been piece of trash. It's pretty depressing how being in the public eye can screw someone out.

 

Would you have sex with Britney Spears? Is she even remotely appealing now because of her past? This topic is debatable. Does anyone still like her? Does she have any current fans?

 

For more info read up at http://perezhilton.com/topics/britney_spears/ 

I don't even know how something like this would/could even happen to me, but it was quite embarrassing. I was walking down the library stairs today from the 3rd floor to the 1st, down the long and winding staircase. I was carrying my jacket and schoolbag and I didn't have a hand on the guard rail (I now know why it's called a guard rail), I guess I didn't turn when the staircase turned and I went to put my foot down and there was no stair under my foot. I had walked off of the staircase and then tumbled to the ground, dropping my water bottle and keys. Could you imagine taking a large, loud fall down a stair in a quiet library? What happens? Do people laugh? Stare? Come to help you out.

 

I was walking behind this woman and just fell and had one leg on the staircase and one off the side, I didn't go tumbling down the steps (thank god), that is more the embarrassing variety. But, I did fall in the middle of the library, it was loud, and many heads did turn. Nobody asked me if I was ok, or came to help me, which is fine, everyone just looked for a second and then continued what they were doing. Was I embarrassed? Not really, I was more puzzled at how the fuck I walked off the side of the stair and ended up on the ground with one leg over the side and one on the staircase. If you were in the library at around 12:45 today you would have heard a loud thud, and then someone say "What the hell?" (that was me). On the way home all I could think about was how bad I had hurt my knee, I cut it up pretty good, it stung for a few hours. I wasn't embarrassed though, I was just wondering how that even happened, on the drive home, I repeated, wow as if I banged my knee. I'm sure there is some other person in the library who's blogging about how they saw a person wipe out on the staircase and completely embarrass themselves.

 

When I got home, not only was my knee hurting, I looked at my jeans and had a big rip in the crotch from when I fell. The cherry on top of this, today was my first day wearing these pants after having a previous rip in the fixed. I really like these jeans too. 

Today was the first time I had ever had Taco Bell.

 

...It was also the last time I ever had Taco Bell.

I thought the toilets at school were bad, forcing me to seek out my own "personal" toilet that I go to every time. I thought it was bad going in Sals. But this is by far the dirtiest toilet I have ever experienced. I only went because I was left with no choice. I am going to go into full detail, it is going to be a tad graphic. If you are squirmish, or are eating right now, you might not want to read this. Otherwise, continue.

 

It was 4am the night before we were going to Acapulco. I couldn't sleep and was hungry. I went to get pizza and some punch to drink. Some time before 5 I think I fell asleep.

 

The next morning pretty early (9ish? I have no clue) to go to Acapulco. I had some breakfast. It was my first time being awake early enough for the breakfast buffet so I went pretty sav. Omlette with veggies/ham/cheese, some bacon, sausage, and canadian/back bacon (aka grilled ham). Obviously this is going to leave me quite bloated, I should have known. That was a deadly combination.

 

It was around 11:30 and we were in Acapulco, Mexico. We were waiting to see the famous cliff divers (which can be seen here, these guys are good unlike my own cliff jumping experiences which can be seen here and other searches for "Acapulco Cliff Divers"). It was 100 degrees out and I was dying. My stomach was acting up, I was gassy, hot and uncomfortable. I knew I was going to explode, I was a ticking time bomb. I just didn't know when I was going to blow. I paced around trying to delay the inevitable. I knew if I was going to go, it was going to be a while, and I really didn't want to miss the cliff divers, because it would have been really disappointing to miss, especially if I'm missing it to take a huge shit.

 

There was one point where I was on the brink and walked up the stairs, I was about to walk into the bathroom then I said no, I'll wait. I walked back down and had to argue with a cliff diver that I already paid my ticket and had just went to the bathroom (I didn't go yet, but its hard to argue with someone who doesn't speak english). I was able to walk back down and watch the show.

 

After the show I knew I was very excite because I was packed to the brim. I needed to let loose, sit down and relax for a while on a toilet with a sports illustrated and just dump. Apparently my expectations for a classy experience like that one was unreasonable. You see, public toilets in Mexico are not at all like the ones we are used to in Canada and the United States.

 

I walk up to the washroom and there is a guy standing beside a bin full of pesos. Yes, you have to pay to use the public toilets in Mexico. I didn't have any pesos so I threw in a George Washington (gotta love those one dollar bills) and walked in. As I was about to go in, the guy standing at the door says to me in a thick Mexican accent. "Paper?". I wasn't sure what he said, and I asked him to repeat, and he goes "paper?". I am really unsure of what is going on here, I had to poo pretty bad and I just wanted to get in there and do my business. I thought maybe he was offering me a newspaper, I really had no idea. I then see in his bin, pre-rolled sheets of toilet paper (along with the pesos everyone was throwing in). Now these rolls were pretty small, probably the length of four times wrapped around my finger. Kind of shocked, I slowly walk into the bathroom. I am a guy who likes to use alot of TP, and at the same time, on the scale of how bad I had to go from 1 - 10, I was probably about an 8 or 9. I had held it for pretty long, so I could go maybe a bit longer, but I would have been sitting in a cab in traffic for a long time and needed to go asap. So somewhere from the 8-10 range.

 

I walk into this bathroom and immediately the smell hits me. It was not pleasant. The floors were dirty and covered with black dirt. I was wearing sandals and was very uncomfortable, I would have preferred full foot protection. But this was an emergency, you gotta do what you gotta do. I walk into this very tiny stall, I look at the toilet, I was pretty grossed out. Praying for there to be a roll of toilet paper on the wall, I look around and see nothing. I have this too small length of toilet paper which is forsure not going to be enough. Not only that, I go to sit down, and I look at the toilet and there is NO SEAT. Yes, NO SEAT. I am going to repeat that, NO SEAT.

 

At this point I have two options, I can sit down on the no seat toilet seat and try to go. It would have to be bare assed, I couldn't put TP around the bowl because my TP supply is limited. My second option is to squat and just give'r. I choose option number two. I face the door, surprisingly, they do have locks on the toilet stalls in Mexico, and with my knees touching the door, I pretend like I am in the woods (which would have been cleaner and more comfortable than this) and amidst the heat, the dirtyness and uncomfortability I let it go. Bombs away! Backsplash, you sunk my battleship. I let out about 1/4 of what I needed to, I just couldn't do it, it was way too hot and I just needed to let a bit go so my rating of how bad I had to go was now about a 4. I went to wipe, and I ran out of paper right away. I could either, pull up, wash my hands and walk out. Or try to bargain for some more toilet paper. I didn't have any money, so I was hoping that the guy would give it to me for free.

 

I walked out of the bathroom, with my pants pulled semi up, so there was no contact. The guy stationed by the change/toilet paper was away and I tried to sneak some paper. He saw me, and knew that I was in serious need. I took not one of those small portions, but two. He then forsure knew that I needed it bad. I think he was expecting people to skimp on the TP. I don't skimp, I use alot (too graphic I know). I went back into my stall, finished up, washed my hands, walked out in complete shock over what I just did. 

 

No toilet will ever compare to that toilet. When I close my eyes, I can still see and feel the horror.

 

That toilet will haunt my dreams forever.

So I just got back from a cruise and I still feel like I'm moving up and down. Great. I am walking around and people think I'm drunk.

 

Similar to cultural fads like pogs, power rangers and the macarena (seirously, someone has to explain how this even happened) I notice in airports these days they go through these security fads. A few years ago it was the electronics fad. You'd go through the security check and they'd ask you to take everything out of your bag, I guess people used to hide bombs or whatever in cds. I know this because I would have a backpack full of discmen, cds, mp3 players, multiple gameboys, portable dvd player and have to empty out the whole thing. Then they would take a pice of cloth and "swab". Yes swab my portable dvd player case, like that is going to tell them that I am carrying weapons onto the plane. I hope I can get away with saying bomb and weapons and plane/airport in the same sentance here. (I said it once at the terminal and my dad shh'ed me) So then last year, they started making me take off my shoes, which I was really annoyed with and didn't want to, and did refuse at first. I went through the metal detector with my shoes on at the Ontario, California airport and then they told me to do it again. I didn't get dinged, but I had to do it again. I can't remember the last time I got dinged. To me, one of the most embarrassing things that can happen in an airport is getting dinged at the security check. You have to stand there like you are about to do jumping jacks with Richard Simmons and then have this magic wand against you, then you have to go through again. While you are holding up a whole line and everyones like, I would not want to be that guy.

 

So since the summer they have banning all liquids, gels, water bottles, cans of coke etc and making you putting them in baggies. Fine, they do what they need to do, I can live with that. But now they are abandoning the whole electronics policy? What gives? I walked into the seucirty convayer belt, fully expecting to so inconveniently empty my whole bag and take out all electonics and have them swabbed and tested (someone tell me what that does please). But no, I went through without a hassle at all. You'd think that they would combine all of these policies, instead of going with the strategy of "out with the old in with the new". I just found it a bit curious.

 

How bad is it when you come home from a trip and there is no food in the fridge.

there has got to be a record for command starting distance.

 

i was at the library, 4th floor, looking out the window, i could not see my car, it was blocked by some buildings, but i had close to a line of sight but not quite. It was not on spence, but the street over behind sound exchange (don't know the name). I pushed start just for shits to see if it would start, and after 5 or some od minutes of walking there, I saw the lights were on. I could not believe it, this has got to be a record. I'm taking pics tommorow, its just too unbelivable.

i hate food that turns your teeth different colors (i.e. blue), its just gross.

I went in there for the first time today. Wow, that place is nuts. Never going in there again, it's like a cult, its own country even. I just got the feeling that everyone in there had their own head in their ass. What a rediculous place.

Being part of the Winnipeg Blog Media, I was able to attend the Winnipeg Premiere of Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny tonight, presented by Winnipeg's best new music, Hot 103. Whenever I hear Hot 103, all I can think of is the fact that Ace Burpee is the biggest sellout in Winnipeg. (Not that I can really blame him but still, he will forever be known to me as Ace Sellout). The red carpet was unrolled and I was able to walk along with my guest to camera flashes and shouts of, who are you wearing? What are you wearing? Well for those interested my ensemble for the night consisted of my campus st shoes, by Adidas, complete with a tiny piece of glass that has been in there since halloween, it cuts me occasionally. North face provided me with my jacket and hoodie, and I wore gap jeans with a tiny hole in the crotch. One day I will be sitting at a table and will be asked about that one.

 

Mmkay, so the movie. I had already heard the album, and I didn't think it was anything spectacular, I wasn't quick to judge because I was probably missing all of the details from the movie. Which I was, so don't judge the album before you see the movie.

 

Going into the movie, I was pretty skeptical. I knew it could be pretty hit or miss. Jack Black has done some really good movies in starring roles, and done some shit. The really good being School of Rock. Shallow Hal was alright, and I never saw Nacho Libre. Could have been really amazing or complete shit. I definately didn't go in thinking very highly of it, but anything Jack Black puts out there has potential which I respect. I'm going to say exactly what I thought of the movie without ruining anything. This is how all movie review should be; It was good, slow at some parts, amazing at others. But I really can appreciate and enjoy the album now.

 

It was definately no Borat. I mean, the last two movies I saw was Borat and Borat. That's a pretty tough act to follow, for anybody. But Tenacious D held up pretty well. If you like Tenacious D, I'd go see it, but it is definately does not provide the constant flow of laughter/rediculousness/entertainment of Borat. Borat is legendary.

 

Onto something really important in my life now.

Lately I have been having a pretty serious problem, I'm a bit concerned. This could grow to effect me (or is it affect, I never know) in the future and cause me great pain and anguish. Whenever I wake up, I just experience the worst morning breath ever. I mean, it's really bad. I'm getting concerned. You're probably thinking, oh you're sick, you just don't brush enough etc. No, that is not true, I use the proper brushing techniques and methods. I don't know what happens overnight, but whenever I wake up I just don't want to go near anybody. I try to avoid contact with anybody in my family and go right for the bathroom to brush my teeth/mouthwash. I'm pretty concerned, if this problem persists, what am I going to do when I'm older and am sharing a bed with my future wife. Lets say we wake up and she wants to get close. Should I avoid opening my mouth at all and just nod my head like I'm declining an apple pie. Or do I have to run to the bathroom before anything happens. Or, I can keep a gum or mint, or a bottle of listerine/spit bucket bedside in case I'm too lazy to get up. Fuck morning breath. For so long I have yearned to know why this happens and how I can avoid it. It is only natural, curse morning breath, damn it to hell!

I was going on the bus today. And I noticed that one of my feet didn't feel level, and it was higher. Usually my jean pant legs go under my shoes and I step on it, and you can feel that you are stepping on something. But this time it was not the case. I was walking to my seat on the bus and something didn't feel right. I sit down and look at my shoe and there was what appeared to be a Kenny Rogers like big clump of dirt on the bottom of my shoe. It was kind of brown, or greenish brown. Thinking nothing of it, I thought I would just flick it off with my finger. A small chunk came onto the floor. Thinking of the possibility that this might be DOG SHIT I immeadiately became very upset. I wanted to cry, there is nothing worse than having dog shit on your shoe (I can name a few worse things but you get the idea). Obviously the only way to check if I have dog shit on my shoe is to smell my finger. Reluctantly, and while being careful not to touch any part of my body or clothes, I smelled my finger. Yup, it was shit. Dog shit, Dog feces, dog excrament, dog poop. Thats the one. There was a huge clump of it, the size of a hockey puck on the bottom of my shoe. Terrrrrrrrrrrrific. I had to be careful here, I didn't want to stand directly on the shit, because then it would just push it into the grooves of my shoe. This was so upsetting, first thing in the morning and I had already stepped in poop. I have had these shoes for 6 months now and kept the bottom relatively clean, they were ruined. Thoughts went through my head about buying new shoes. I got off the bus, walking on my tippy toes (yes tippy toes) because I didn't want to get the poop further into my shoe, I needed to get it off easily. I thought and thought about ways to get it off. I got off the bus and walked to a tree, forcefully ripped off a branch and used it to scrape off the bottom of the shoe. I got most of it off, but there was still some poop in those little crevases that are so hard to get out. I did the wipe the bottom of your shoe on the curb move, and that worked. Then I walked on some rocks and slid my shoes against the concrete, hopefully that got it all off. The second I got to school I went to the bathroom and washed my hands. Sick.

 

I would love to find whoever's dog did this, pull my pants down, and poop on their lawn.

 

 

Here is a pretty sweet video of Bruno that will cheer me, or anyone up.

Last night I was treated to an advanced screening of Borat specifically for bloggers. Unless you have been living under a rock, in a cardboard box, or with your head in the sand (or up your ass), you probably know who Borat is and what he's about. Please don't waste your time reading reviews from any real newspaper or anything. If you have ever seen a Borat segment on Da Ali G show, you know exactly what it is.

 

As I was writing this I just told people in the library who were talking at their "normal volume voices" to shut up. They were just talking soo loud like this guy and a girl having some conversation looking at last years yearbook. I said to them. "Hey can you guys shut up a bit, c'mon, this is a library, you guys are talking pretty loud, I mean, come on". And they obliged and are keeping it down. I mean, come on. It was the first time I had ever told anyone to shut up in the library, I also told them that, they were being that loud. It felt good, I should do that more often, and in more creative ways.

 

Ok so here is my review for Borat before even seeing it. It is obviously going to be amazing and the best movie ever. You know on The Simpsons how people say "I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy movie seventeen times". That is what Borat is going to be. I usually don't go see movies in theaters more than once. The last one I remember going to see more than once was "A Bugs Life" But how could you ever get bored of Borat. Wow. I can't wait.

 

While I really need to be studying, just a few things to add. I took a shit at school a few days ago in my secret spot. There is only one stall there. I walk in and this other guy walks in right after me. Luckily I get there first and shit before him. He just stood in the bathroom and waited for me. I was feeling tremendous pressure to take a shit while this guy is basically standing outside the door waiting for me. But I remained calm and took as long as I normally would (or longer). I came out after, and you know what its like when you are coming out of a bathroom. But this guy was waiting for me for soo long and it was obviously going to be pretty awkward. I don't know how bad this guy had to poo on the scale of 1 - 10, but I walked out of there and he just gave me the biggest smile ever. And I'm thinking, yeah, I just took a shit, what do you want. What an idiot. It was a smile like on Seinfeld when the black guy from the photo store sees George's photos and gives George that creepy smile. Wow. That was weird.

 

Oh Halloween was on Tuesday/this weekend, always amazing time. I put up my pics. I was happy to go as Nelly, I wore my grill, bought some jewlery, serveral rings, necklaces, band aid, New Orleans Saints jersey (showing my support for Katrina), I even went into claire the girl jewlery store and bought fake magnetic earrings and some bracelets. Pretty sweet pics.

 

If for some reason you need to get psyched up for Borat, watch this.

 

Edit:

 

Now that I have actually seen the movie. People have been asking me, is it good? is it worth seeing? how funny was it? C'mon think for a second, its Borat. Just think of the show, but as a movie. It was obviously amazing and everything I thought it could be and more. If you haven't seen the show ever, I can understand asking that. But if you have seen the show, and liked it, or seen him on his many TV appearances recently, you would know that it is going to be the best movie ever. Like, how can it not be amazing?

 

 

The following story takes place last year. I had just seen Wedding Crashers at Polo Park, and it was pretty good. I enjoyed it, laughed pretty hard. Anyone who has ever been to a movie with me knows that you can pick my laugh in a theater from anyone elses. Well I'm walking out of the theater and there is this guy behind me who is still laughing. Like walking down that hallway out of the theater just laughing about the movie. I know it was a funny movie, but usually my laughter remains in the theater. This guy was laughing pretty hard, and it was pretty loud, so I turn around to see who this jokester is, and it was the Mayor Sam Katz. All I could think when I saw him there was amazing. That guy knows how to ride.

 

That is why I voted for Sam Katz.

 

After an extremely brutal week of exams, I can finally relax and not worry about exams for a bit. I spent so much time in the library last week, I absolutely do not want to go in there anymore.

 

I have had alot happen to me that I wanted to blog about, but haven't had the time to post it. Here are some of the great moments.

 

Most depressing moment of the week: I went to go to sleep at school. I need to be fully awake to study, I can't study half asleep. I laid down to sleep, in a pretty noisy room. I put on my headphones, and I turned on my ipod. I went to make an on-the-go playlist and it froze. I did a reset (menu+select for those of you who don't know) and then went to turn it on. I got the dreaded folder+exclamation mark icon. I knew my ipod was dying, I can't put songs on it now without it freezing my itunes, so I knew I would have to get a new one eventually or replace the hard drive. But after seeing that icon, my heart sank. I was pretty upset, it was finally gone, no more music. I was going to have to go back to using my 128mb Creative Nomad II in the interim.

 

Most uplifting moment of the week: I did some searching on google and found that if you slap your ipod when you get the folder icon it should come back on. So I banged all 4 corners on the ground, like I'm cracking an egg. and then slammed it face up on the ground. I went to turn it on, thinking yeah right this is not going to work. And yes! It worked. Wow, my iPod lives to see another day.

 

I was pretty into Extreme Pita all week, I think I went there like three times. When I go in there, I really get the feeling that the people who work there (and at booster juice), are really into what they do. How can a person work at booster juice if they hate grass shots? When I go to Subway they are Sandwhich Artists. I've asked some for advice on subs and sauces, but they just give me the bs "well you can put on whatever you want". At Extreme Pita they ahve "Pita Pros" (is that the term they have, i really forget). And I just get the feeling that they've tried every kind of pita, and I can ask them for advice and they will give me a plethera of choices.  I'm get the falafel or grilled chicken. Onions/mushrooms on the grill, lettuce, pickles, cucumbers, pineapple, and that tomato thing (i think its bruschetta but i always say that tomato thing). Add in some s&p and light ranch or hummus and I'm good to go.

 

I'm kind of curious though. I know they have falafel at extreme pita, and they had it at mega wraps. I want to know, how many people get falafel, and what percentage of them are jewish/gentile. Do non Jews really go in there and get falafel? And how many get hummus? Do alot of people get that? I can't really see a non-Jew getting falafel. There must be alot, or they are just pleasing us Jews if they are keeping falafel on the menu. Or its owned by a Jew.

 

I am pretty sure at Extreme Pita that they are hoarding stamps. Three times I have been in there, the first time they didn't give me the stamps and I totally forgot. And the next two times, I had to ask for the stamp. What the fuck? If they are going to offer cards they can't half ass this shit and make me ask for the stamp. If I have to ask, I should be getting double. Do they steal my stamps after they don't give them to me? Is that how it works, they don't offer the stamp, and if I don't ask, the employees take them. I know thats partially why Subway stopped doing it. Employees were stealing them and selling them on eBay. I checked eBay for some extreme pita stamps...no dice. Damn.

 

They really need to have a sub place where you make your own sub. You cut the bread, you put on the ingredients, you put on the mayo/mustard/sauces. You can make all crazy combinations. I love how extreme pita has pineapples, subway needs those.

 

I am the biggest fan of Sals 75 cent Tuesdays. But every time I get it, I feel gassy. I then think, I'm not getting it anymore. And then when Tuesday comes, I can't resist and think, oh maybe it wont happen this time, and go for the 75 cent grilled cheese or whatever I feel like. And then after I feel gassy and wonder why I get it. It's a neverending cycle. This really wouldn't happen if it wasn't 75 cents.

 

Whats the deal with stomach noises? Like what is going on when I can hear mine or someone elses stomach outside my body. I was sitting beside someone in class and their stomach was playing like it was a guitar plugged into a Volkswagen. Yes, that loud.

 

I was studying in the library and I had to fart. I was kinda holding it in, but it squeaked out (sorry for the details). It was in the library, so it was pretty loud. I mean, there is no sound in there, so if someone farts, you are going to hear it. Feeling extremely embarrassed, I look up to see exactly who is looking at me. There is only one guy around, and he is wearing headphones, thank god. (It was late at night and nobody was around, sorry for the detail). I felt pretty relieved. That guy had no idea what had just happened. I may have tested him and did it once more later in the evening.

 

I was writing a test and in the middle the teacher got up and left. I have no idea where he went, he may have gone for water, gone to his office or gone to take a huge dump. I really didn't know. As a student, what am I supposed to do when a teacher leaves the room like that? Assume he is coming back quickly and continue. Or guess he may be gone for a bit. I really had no idea, I looked up to see if anyone else knew what was going on, if somebody else did, maybe we could share answers. The teacher was gone for a while, but nobody seemed to notice at all. Damn. What is the teacher thinking when he gets up like that? That people aren't going to cheat? Or does he want people to cheat. Or is he leaving and watching through a security cam or have a tape recorder so he can catch people cheating? Or maybe he is just thirsty. Who knows.

 

Last thing. I know it may be a tad more expensive but it is for the good of everybody on the planet. One-Ply toilet paper should be made illegal, yes illegal. Banned, from everywhere. If any institution is seen with one ply toilet paper, they will be fined an overly excessive amount and forced to put in more ply. One ply toiletpaper, is like using sandpaper, it hurts, its painful, and there is potential to recieve deep cuts. I will go to Sam Katz, Stephen Harper, whoever it takes to get more ply in public bathrooms. It is just slapping the users of it in the face. At school, they have one ply. Would they have half a chair? Would they take food out of the garbage and serve it to us? Of course not. That is what they are doing by only giving us one ply. Its not humaine. After so many technological advances in the toilet paper industry, public washrooms still have one ply. What is that? They don't have computers that came out ten years ago at school, they have current ones. Toilet paper needs to be higher up on peoples priorities. I know, I could just not use public washrooms. I try not to go to the gross ones, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.

 

Thats it for me. Enjoy this youtube clip and other ones on my favourites at www.youtube.com/mremis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVekZEY_3Sk&eurl=

 

 

I'm way too busy with exams to spend an hour writing something right now. But I just saw this video and thought it was unbelievable

 

 

 

enjoy, ill be back in a few days.

Alright

 

Special thanks to everybody who signed up for the hockey pool, there were at least 20 signups, I'll post the standings bi-weekly, I'll announce all the teams in a few weeks with my standings count.

 

I've been severely addicted to Youtube! lately. Wow, that is one of my favourite sites. I've been working hard on my Youtube! Channel. You can visit it at www.youtube.com/mremis You can see all the videos I have posted there and the ones that I have marked as my favourites, there are some good ones. I uploaded 4 videos yesterday, check out my youtube channel to see what they are. A great video I have just found is a guy setting the world record for most T-shirts worn at 155. It's unbelievable. I added it to my favourites, watch it here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6tlw-oPDBM

 

Some thoughts, go ahead and read them.

 

Guns N' Roses tickets went on sale last week, I went to get tickets during the presale. Which happened to be during classs. I decided to bring a laptop into class and just buy the tickets while I was discussing Plato and Aristotle. In the morning I grabbed the laptop, and didn't take the charger, I didn't think I would need it. I was only going to be on for 10 minutes, and then I would be finished. What do I need to charge for? I have a 3hr battery. I got to class, took my laptop out of my bag, went to turn it on, and nothing. I pushed the button in a few times, held it, absolutely nothing. I brought a computer to school with a dead battery. Fuck. That was just annoying and inconvenient. I looked around to see if anyone in class had a compaq laptop from which I could borrow the charger, but that didn't happen. What a shame. That was pretty disappointing, buying concert tickets is fun, but its more fun when you buy them in class. I am forsure, always bringing a charger with me, no matter where I go. That story really sucked, but I'm trying to fill a blog here, and its always a huge pain in the ass when you are out of a charge and all you need is a charger. ALWAYS BRING A CHARGER. Hey, I came to school with one bar on my cell phone and charged it in class. Do what you gotta do.

 

Speaking of cellphones. Usually its annoying when peoples cell phones ring in class. But, this can only be negated by a good ring. Me, I have some pretty sweet rings on my phone, for example I was in class and I hear the theme for the game NBA Hangtime. I wasn't even mad that my phone was ringing in class, I just had to laugh to myself. Even today, this guys phone rang and it was a cool jazz groove w/some lead guitar. It was nice. How can you get mad at that? I've always wanted to make my ring the November Rain solo (which I have) and just play it in class and see if anyone cares. If not November Rain, some other memorable solo. Would anybody care?

 

I was hungry late at night and was looking for something to eat. I stumbled upon some Eggo waffles. I can't remember the last time I ate those, wow. Leggo My Eggo. Those commercials were on all the time. I love how waffles have those squares, you can make nice patterns out of where you put the syrup. Personally, i just cover the whole thing.

 

I saw the Blue Bombers (when are they going to change that name, I think the team name bombers is violent and not socially acceptable anymore. Hey, Washington had to change from the bullets to the wizards. With all this war in the world right now, how can we name our team the bombers?) mascot Buzz at school, I just walked by him and gave him high five. It's probably the kid in me (or the kid I still am), but how can anybody walk by a mascot, weather it be Mick E. Moose or Goldie, and not give him a high five. I kind of wish I had a camera so I could get my picture taken with him. How cool would that be? What am I......seven?

 

I was at the Walker Theatre last week. Oh sorry its the Burton Cummings Theatre. And the isles were so fucking narrow. I couldn't get out to take a piss in the middle. There is zero room for a person to walk by, even if I'm standing up, I'm afraid of unintentionally touching someone innapropriately. There should be a legal limit on how long these isles are. I was walking out of our row during intermission and I get to the end and the guy is like "fuck" (I can read lips) and like what? You're sitting at the end buddy, thats part of your job, you get up when people have to get out. And its intermission, what am I supposed to do? Sit there? I had to pee.  

 

Eh, I'm finished for today. I really just wanted to promote my Youtube! channel. Broadcast yourself.

 

 

The hockey season starts Wednesday. After participating in many drafts on the weekend, I was bored at school and decided that it would be a good idea if I made a hockey draft open to all fans of my blog. I started a salary cap league on The Sporting News. You have 30 million dollars and have to pick 7 players, you get two trades per week (assuming you dont pay). This pool is just for fun and is a free sign up. However, the winner and second place of the Remis on Life Salary Cap league will win some dvd's of their choice (assuming I have them), or the opportunity to have their iPod (or other mp3 player for all you Apple haters like myself) serviced by myself. Signup before the season begins on October 4th (Wednesday). I think that you can sign up after the season begins (not 100%), but you will begin from behind. If enough people sign up I'll post weekly/monthy standings on here.

 

If you don't want to join, and were expecting to see a real blog, scroll down to the bottom of this invitation to my Fantasy Hockey Challenge.

 

Instructions

 

YOU'VE BEEN CHALLENGED!

You've been invited to join mremis's Fantasy Hockey Challenge Season 1 league. Accept this challenge and get your team now!

--------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys, I started this free salary cap fantasy hockey on sporting news. You have a 30 million cap and pick 7 players, pretty easy. You get 2 transactions per week (I think). I'm gonna post this on my blog hopefully alot of people join.

Accept Your Friend's Challenge!

Your friend has challenged you to join a SportingNews.com Fantasy Hockey Challenge Season 1 league. Take the following steps to join your friend's league:

1.) Click on link above
2.) Register a team for free

3.) Choose your team name
4.) Join an "Existing League" using the following league information:

League: Fans of Remis on Life
Password: remis

Alright so I was a tad bored today, and have always wanted to do this, so I gave it a shot. Todays blog will be in audioform, as I spoke off the top of my head what I was going to say into a microphone, as opposed to it being through my fingers onto a keyboard. The files are in mp3 format and not that long. I had 12 minutes of me talking, I edited the first two minutes to take out some ums and ers, but the rest of it is all me. It totals 10 minutes of me talking, and I properly put in the tags so you can put it in your itunes/ipod, it will show up under Michael Remis.

 

01 - Intro / Guy With Mohawk (01:41) (796kb)

02 - Computer Hermit (01:59) (931kb)

03 - Deodorant (01:39) (778kb)

04 - My Nalgene (01:32) (725kb)

05 - Sleeping at School (01:08) (536kb)

06 - Taking My Shoes Off In Class (02:06) (988kb)

 

 

I hope this is enjoyable for everyone. Comments are extremely encouraged.